Dear CEO......I’m worried about returning to the office
As part of our continued focus on returning to work, there are a whole lot of worries and concerns out there for many who are soon to be returning to their place of work. And there is, even more, worry about letting employers know of those concerns.
This email to a CEO captures the essence of that and is thought-provoking for us all. Are any of these concerns also yours? And are you comfortable in sharing your worries about returning to work with your manager, colleagues or employees?
Written by Jo Nicholson, Occupational Psychologist
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Dear CEO.....
Re: I’m worried about returning to the office – but please don’t judge me
I know I’ve been lucky; lucky to be in a job, to not have been furloughed, be supported to work from home, but, I’m worried. I’m worried about coming back into the office after being away for so long during the pandemic. I’m worried for all of the following reasons:
I’m worried about putting on formal work clothes and finding clothes that will fit. What if everyone’s dress code has changed to more casual and I don’t get the memo and I stand out? What if I look different to when I was last in the office and people notice. What if people make comment that I’ve put on weight, not to my face of course, but behind my back?
I’m actually worried about leaving my house unattended for the day, and will the house be safe and secure? Is someone going to break in as it’s the first time it’s been empty for a year?
I’m worried about leaving my dog, she isn’t used to being left all day anymore. Not only am I worried about her and how she will cope without me, but I am worried about me. Will I be able to get through a stressful day without a couple of dog strokes and cuddles, and a little walk at lunchtime which made me get out of the house, leave my computer, take a break and gain some perspective.
I’m worried about travelling to work on public transport, having no control over who may come and stand next to me, how close people will get if we’re on a crowded bus, train, tram or tube
I’m worried about arriving at work, and not recognising the place. It’s going to have all new safety measures in place, and whilst I totally do appreciate that they’re there for my safety, it’s going to feel clinical and I might freak out.
What if people around me don’t obey the restrictions in place for our safety? What do I say?
What is someone comes to my desk and stands too close?
What if I really want to say to someone “please can you give me some space and distance”, but I’m worried they will judge me for saying something. What if it’s someone in a superior position and I’m scared in case I jeopardise my career by saying something? What if I say nothing and I’m anxious that my safety is compromised and I have a panic attack?
What if I get overwhelmed by the noises in the office, trying to work when I can hear someone else on the phone? I’m not used to that. I’m not used to being around people. I don’t think I can cope being in that open office with everyone all at once.
What if I can’t concentrate in the office, and can’t do my job so well, and you fire me?!
What if I need the bathroom but I don’t know the rules on cubicle etiquette?
What if I have a panic that despite being well before I left home for the office, I have travelled in to work on public transport and now I’m worried I’ve picked up Covid, and not only am I at risk, but now I have totally passed it on to the rest of the office?
What if I’ve totally lost my skills to socialise in the corridor?
What if I don’t feel comfortable talking or approaching a colleague, in case they don’t want anyone to come close to them, and it impacts my job?
What if I used to be the fun one in the office, and everyone is expecting me to be fun on my return, but I can’t do it anymore? I’ve had such a tough time during lockdown I don’t know who I am anymore, let alone be fun.
What if someone asks me how I am, and I burst into tears?
What if I should just be grateful that I’m still alive through all this and I’m making a fuss about nothing?
What if I have got used to not spending time commuting to and from work, and I like being about at home to do a few household chores during the day, and I quite like listening to the sound of birds singing in my garden, and I like having a window open, and I like finishing my day at 5? What if I want to protect some of those positives from lockdown and you think I’m letting you down by leaving at 5? I don’t want to go back to doing all those long hours.
What if, what if, what if…. I lose my mind by all of these worries that I know will totally become the norm after I’ve been back in the office for a while, but now I’m worrying about worrying, and you’re going to think I’ve lost my mind?
What if you think I’m making a fuss about all of these things, what if these aren’t important to you or to others, and I am putting myself at a disadvantage for raising them? Perhaps all you think is that I should be grateful to be able to return to work.
Finally, what if you dismiss all of these worries, and you think I should give the company and colleagues credit for handling themselves in a way to not create any of these issues? You might not understand that I know that deep inside, but I can’t control others, and I’m in a state of anxiousness and I need to feel safe and in control, and I need reassurance from you.
Please help me by telling me I’m not on my own, that you believe lots of people are thinking the same way, that you have some of these thoughts and concerns, and that even though you may not have them all, you can understand why some people may feel this way. Tell me that you are prepared as much as possible, and you have support mechanisms in place for those who need it.
Please reassure me that you are expecting there to be a period of transition whilst people get used to travelling to, and being in the office again, and that it will be OK if I struggle, and you have totally got my back.
Please help me prepare by letting me know what to expect on the return to the office, you could circulate photos of the areas I will be working in, inform me of any new expectations or guidelines on working and you could let me know what my options are if I do feel uncomfortable.
Please reassure me by telling me that you have briefed all line managers to look out for their staff, to talk to them all about how they are feeling about returning to work, to be prepared for some emotion, and to make a flexible plan with everyone and no one will be judged if they struggle with the return to work.
Please tell me that you are human too and it’s OK.
Yours sincerely
Anonymous